Oh dear, today is the dreaded April 15th…in the USA, that means tax day! My mom is one of those overly organized types and then there is me, the shaggy, messier one which means that mom has her taxes all done the beginning of February and I am still finishing mine up on April 15th. Well, I have until midnight, so what’s the hurry?
This year has been especially tough for figuring out my taxes. Until 2012, I never had any income except for gifts or my doggy allowance but in 2012 I got my first real job where I actually got paid, so I have to really figure out my expenses and stuff to make sure I don’t have any trouble with the canine division at the IRS. The word on the street is that the canine division can sniff out a tax offender from miles away, yikes!
I am a bit worried this year about my citizenship. I don’t have a doggy green card to work in the USA. I have searched the internet for information on this issue but I can’t find anything. Do any of my friends and followers know anything about doggy green cards? In checking with some dog pals I found that my sister and I are like the only dogs that even have passports, so I guess there aren’t many foreign dogs here. I am just worried that I may end up in jail or even worse, be deported, for working without proper papers since I am technically still a British dog according to my Pet Passport.
Nevertheless, I am filing my usual W-K9 form this year but it is much more than just filling out the form. First I have to gather all my receipts to figure out my expenses for the year. I have no idea how I manage to spend so much on snacks but it just happens, maybe I should eat those receipts??? I like to get everything together on a spreadsheet to make it easier when I fill out my tax form. I sure hope mom isn’t mad about how much I spent on food and snacks! Once I have my spreadsheet done I can go to my office and get to work on the computer entering my data. This part of the procedure goes astonishingly fast!
According to my W-K9 form, I have spent so much more than I made that I don’t owe anything and since I did not pay in yet, I don’t get a refund either. The form still has to be filed and will need to go in a nicely addressed envelope and then off to the mailbox. Uh oh…I wonder how much postage a big envelope will need. I have so many different stamps to choose from but no idea what it will cost. I best just put on like $10 in stamps to make sure it gets there. The stamps belong to mom anyway, I doubt she will even know I used them! To bad they stick by themselves, I love licking stamps, they have such an interesting flavor!
My last tax tip is my personal protest and even though I am a girl I do this and recommend it. Place your taxes in the mailbox and then lift your leg and pee on the mailbox…that sends them a message about how you feel about paying some guy named Uncle Sam that you have never met, your hard earned money! This reminds me, has anyone ever met this illusive “uncle Sam”? How did he get to be such an alpha human if no one seems to have ever met him?