Today I’m writing an open letter to the squirrels of the world. We dogs have put up with more than enough bologna from these ridiculous varmints and it is time to get some things off my chest!
Dear squirrels of the world!
Most of us dogs and hounds are born to hunt. You squirrels don’t play fair as you climb trees and hang out just above the point we can reach. Not only do you hang out and look at us, you yell at us too. Why can’t you simply climb way up high and disappear without the torment? Wabbits don’t tease us!
When you see dogs coming at you, why do you have to wait until the last minute to run away? Why not just leave the area and let us dogs walk in peace? Your teasing is completely uncalled for. You know we won’t catch you. Not only are you slow to move away, you once again hang out above our heads and yell at us. Our human tells us to sit and wait, and we are forced to listen to your squirrely nonsense – not fair!
You tree rats are nasty enough outside when we go walking, but why do you have to continue to drive us crazy in the comfort of our own home? Is it really necessary to sit outside on the window sill, right in front of my dog bed? How completely rude and thoughtless!
Do you think you are clever hiding out in the bushes in front of my window? Well, you are not and I would appreciate it very much if you would just go away! How can I concentrate on anything with you outside my window? I’m in big trouble for pawing the woodwork on my window trying to get at you, thank you very much!
From all of us dogs in the world to all of you squirrels of the world, please leave us alone! Knock off the teasing and yelling, and don’t bother us when we are in our own homes. Is it really too much to ask?
Emma the GBGV