My dearest little Ems, Debucher Baguette CGC NW1 NW2 NW3-C NW3-V NW3-E L1C L1E L1V L1I L2I,
This time is something I always knew would come, but I never thought you would leave me like this. I was so unprepared! The pain is like a huge bomb that has gone off destroying my heart, and putting my life in a shambles. You didn’t mean to cause me any pain, but this is truly unbearable. We went to the vet in the morning, and I knew something was terribly wrong, but they would fix you, and you would be home again later that same day. At the ER, when I left you for a short time so you could rest, you were improving, and all was going to be good. That phone call to tell me to get back asap was one of the worst calls of my life. Thank you for waiting for me to hold you again, tell you how much I love you, and beg you not to go. I see you everywhere, I smell your things, cuddle with Bunny, I talk to about you with Bailie and Madison as I cry all over them. It is simply to much for me to accept that you are gone.
Remember the day I first met you in London, the day you turned nine weeks old? Such a cute little five pound bundle, with long ears, and a chubby little belly. That day I picked up my pet dog, I had no idea we would move to the USA, you would model for Target, have your photo on product tags, and then develop your huge blogging empire! You were going to be my pet dog, but you became a well known public figure who touched so many lives around the world, all really by accident. I am so proud to be your dog mom!
When I heard you were born on 9/11, I’ll admit was not thrilled. You showed me you were born on that day to teach the world about fun, love, and happiness even in the face of tragedy. Happy hound is the perfect description for you. Fame was your thing. I so enjoyed watching you proudly trot around places where people knew you as if you owned the universe. You had the confidence I lack. I have trust issues, but you taught me to trust and believe in you.
We worked so very well together in every aspect of life. You were such a well behaved, honest dog. Both of us found joy in the same things, exploring on walks, photography, storytelling, and nose work, and best of all snuggling.
Walking with you was so much fun. You were at the point where you were so easy to walk, and stopping for photos was something we always did. Photos were your love, any time, any place. We did photos just to help me relax at nose work trials. At your first Target photo shoot, the photographers couldn’t believe you had not modeled before. My Emma was a natural.
You brought out my loves in life, dogs, photography, writing, and sports. Looking back at when I first got you until now all the things I love are so much better. You helped me grow my passions with ease. The two of us were never lacking in blog material. When I didn’t know what we should post about, you would provide inspiration, we would get photos I needed done in about a minute. I don’t know how you did it, but you always motivated me, and gave me the ideas I needed! We knew exactly what each other needed.
Nose work was your love, and I so enjoyed being your teammate. We had our rough patch, but came back stronger than ever. Whenever people say nothing good ever comes after the thirty second warning in a search, I could smack them. You were slow, but thorough. Almost all of our searches were down to the wire, but after the thirty second warning we would always find another one or two hides. If they give you the time, why not use it was our motto! I know you will be with me as your sisters continue to trial. Madison and I felt your presence as she earned her NW2 title on Saturday – her first try, and on the same weekend you earned yours on the first try three years before.
Ems, you have to admit, you were not always an easy dog to live with. It was your way or no way most of the time. Routine was also your thing, and if I messed with it, you were not shy in letting me know you were not happy about it. Your furs grew like weeds, and tangled like crazy. Your ears had so much fur inside and out, I think they were half your body weight! No matter what, though, you were so very adorable, like a living stuffed dog. No matter where we went, everyone commented on how cute you were, and even at twelve, how young you looked.
You and I went through a lot together starting with your move from London to our house in Germany, then over to the USA. We did a lot of traveling, which you loved. You were such a great traveling dog. There were many ups and downs in our time together, but you always pulled me through, until now. I will be forever grateful you were by my side for eleven years and three hundred fifty one days.
The way you sat in the front window when I was gone, waiting to see the car pull up, always made me smile. You would run to greet me as I came in the house, sometimes with Bunny, and be so happy to see me. The neighbors told me how they knew when I was not home because you would mournfully howl on and off in your front window. Boy, do will miss seeing you there.
I’m so glad we had that special time together on your last Sunday night, lying together on the floor while you gnawed on your marrow bone, me talking at you, and you pretending to be interested in what I was saying to you. The chats we always had, me and you, alone, with you listening and me talking were something I so adored. It always helped me so much. Just forty five hours after that Sunday chat, you were gone, I had no idea that was going to happen. We always enjoyed our mommy and me time. You loved your sister Katie, but I think after she passed on, you would have been happy to be an only dog with me. I changed everything to give you as much mommy and me time as I could, and I never once regretted it.
Just a couple weeks ago we had an early fall, snowy morning walk ,and took this selfie together. We both enjoyed the snow, and had so much fun, and it is the last selfie we ever took. Both of us were true winter lovers. Summer was always a bummer of a season with the dreaded heat and humidity.
Now I’ve had to start embarking on the dreaded year of “firsts” without you. It is very painful, but you have shown me that you are with me in spirit. You were my second puppy ever, third dog, and very first GBGV. We shared so many “firsts” together that I will be proud of forever. I’m so grateful for all the wonderful memories I have of you, and the probably one million photos. It’s crushing to think I will never take another photo of you, how can that be? You will never be forgotten, and I will love you forever and beyond.
Until we meet again my little Ems. I love you more than you could ever imagine!
PS: We tried to take a break from blogging and social media, but it is so much a part of our lives, it really ended up being worse than getting back to Emma’s work. This week will be all about Emma, mostly a week to look back, look forward, and be happy because Emma would want that. Many people have asked me what happened. It’s a long, yet short story which I will post about tomorrow. Thank you so much to everyone for your outpouring of love and support during this very hard time. I’m still not sure how to go on, but with Bailie and Madison, I will find my way.