My dearest little Ems, Debucher Baguette CGC NW1 NW2 NW3-C NW3-V NW3-E L1C L1E L1V L1I L2I,
This time is something I always knew would come, but I never thought you would leave me like this. I was so unprepared! The pain is like a huge bomb that has gone off destroying my heart, and putting my life in a shambles. You didn’t mean to cause me any pain, but this is truly unbearable. We went to the vet in the morning, and I knew something was terribly wrong, but they would fix you, and you would be home again later that same day. At the ER, when I left you for a short time so you could rest, you were improving, and all was going to be good. That phone call to tell me to get back asap was one of the worst calls of my life. Thank you for waiting for me to hold you again, tell you how much I love you, and beg you not to go. I see you everywhere, I smell your things, cuddle with Bunny, I talk to about you with Bailie and Madison as I cry all over them. It is simply to much for me to accept that you are gone.
Remember the day I first met you in London, the day you turned nine weeks old? Such a cute little five pound bundle, with long ears, and a chubby little belly. That day I picked up my pet dog, I had no idea we would move to the USA, you would model for Target, have your photo on product tags, and then develop your huge blogging empire! You were going to be my pet dog, but you became a well known public figure who touched so many lives around the world, all really by accident. I am so proud to be your dog mom!
When I heard you were born on 9/11, I’ll admit was not thrilled. You showed me you were born on that day to teach the world about fun, love, and happiness even in the face of tragedy. Happy hound is the perfect description for you. Fame was your thing. I so enjoyed watching you proudly trot around places where people knew you as if you owned the universe. You had the confidence I lack. I have trust issues, but you taught me to trust and believe in you.
We worked so very well together in every aspect of life. You were such a well behaved, honest dog. Both of us found joy in the same things, exploring on walks, photography, storytelling, and nose work, and best of all snuggling.
Walking with you was so much fun. You were at the point where you were so easy to walk, and stopping for photos was something we always did. Photos were your love, any time, any place. We did photos just to help me relax at nose work trials. At your first Target photo shoot, the photographers couldn’t believe you had not modeled before. My Emma was a natural.
You brought out my loves in life, dogs, photography, writing, and sports. Looking back at when I first got you until now all the things I love are so much better. You helped me grow my passions with ease. The two of us were never lacking in blog material. When I didn’t know what we should post about, you would provide inspiration, we would get photos I needed done in about a minute. I don’t know how you did it, but you always motivated me, and gave me the ideas I needed! We knew exactly what each other needed.
Nose work was your love, and I so enjoyed being your teammate. We had our rough patch, but came back stronger than ever. Whenever people say nothing good ever comes after the thirty second warning in a search, I could smack them. You were slow, but thorough. Almost all of our searches were down to the wire, but after the thirty second warning we would always find another one or two hides. If they give you the time, why not use it was our motto! I know you will be with me as your sisters continue to trial. Madison and I felt your presence as she earned her NW2 title on Saturday – her first try, and on the same weekend you earned yours on the first try three years before.
Ems, you have to admit, you were not always an easy dog to live with. It was your way or no way most of the time. Routine was also your thing, and if I messed with it, you were not shy in letting me know you were not happy about it. Your furs grew like weeds, and tangled like crazy. Your ears had so much fur inside and out, I think they were half your body weight! No matter what, though, you were so very adorable, like a living stuffed dog. No matter where we went, everyone commented on how cute you were, and even at twelve, how young you looked.
You and I went through a lot together starting with your move from London to our house in Germany, then over to the USA. We did a lot of traveling, which you loved. You were such a great traveling dog. There were many ups and downs in our time together, but you always pulled me through, until now. I will be forever grateful you were by my side for eleven years and three hundred fifty one days.
The way you sat in the front window when I was gone, waiting to see the car pull up, always made me smile. You would run to greet me as I came in the house, sometimes with Bunny, and be so happy to see me. The neighbors told me how they knew when I was not home because you would mournfully howl on and off in your front window. Boy, do will miss seeing you there.
I’m so glad we had that special time together on your last Sunday night, lying together on the floor while you gnawed on your marrow bone, me talking at you, and you pretending to be interested in what I was saying to you. The chats we always had, me and you, alone, with you listening and me talking were something I so adored. It always helped me so much. Just forty five hours after that Sunday chat, you were gone, I had no idea that was going to happen. We always enjoyed our mommy and me time. You loved your sister Katie, but I think after she passed on, you would have been happy to be an only dog with me. I changed everything to give you as much mommy and me time as I could, and I never once regretted it.
Just a couple weeks ago we had an early fall, snowy morning walk ,and took this selfie together. We both enjoyed the snow, and had so much fun, and it is the last selfie we ever took. Both of us were true winter lovers. Summer was always a bummer of a season with the dreaded heat and humidity.
Now I’ve had to start embarking on the dreaded year of “firsts” without you. It is very painful, but you have shown me that you are with me in spirit. You were my second puppy ever, third dog, and very first GBGV. We shared so many “firsts” together that I will be proud of forever. I’m so grateful for all the wonderful memories I have of you, and the probably one million photos. It’s crushing to think I will never take another photo of you, how can that be? You will never be forgotten, and I will love you forever and beyond.
Until we meet again my little Ems. I love you more than you could ever imagine!
Love,
Mom
PS: We tried to take a break from blogging and social media, but it is so much a part of our lives, it really ended up being worse than getting back to Emma’s work. This week will be all about Emma, mostly a week to look back, look forward, and be happy because Emma would want that. Many people have asked me what happened. It’s a long, yet short story which I will post about tomorrow. Thank you so much to everyone for your outpouring of love and support during this very hard time. I’m still not sure how to go on, but with Bailie and Madison, I will find my way.
Joy I have no words just tears… we know the feeling too well when we are full of hope that the vet can help and that we drive home together, the thought to drive home with a collar in our hand is so far away… but then after THIS calls our heart is a pile of shards… Hugs to you … your Ems is in our harts forever & ever…
Thank you. I know you feel the pain of loss and sudden loss as well. It is unbelieveable.
I can’t stop my tears from falling.. Sweetheart Emma, you will be missing so much, but you will live in our hearts forever <3
She will always be with us, but I will always miss her so.
This is beautiful. I completely understand how you are feeling. Hugs!
Thank you.
That was beautifully written and my eyes are all leaky again. Your sweet Emma became like family to so many of us in the blogging world and our hearts still hurt here but we absolutely know she will guide you in finding your way, that would be important to her. Hugs from all of us.
I know people loved her, but it is amazing how many really loved my sweet girl in person and online. Thank you for being such good friends.
Mary Oliver wrote: “Because of the dog’s joyfulness, our own is increased. It is no small gift.”. So true. Wonderful dogs — I love what you have written here. A beautiful tribute.
Thank you. I know you are hurting as well. The happiness and joyfulness they give us is worth the pain we suffer when they leave us, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Unexpected loss is even more difficult.
Hugs from my heart, Joy. A beautiful letter to Emma.
Thank you. She would love the email address you used for your comment.
Joy, There is nothing I can say that will ease the pain. I can just sit and cry with you. I so enjoyed reading what Emma said about you, Grandma, and her sisters. Reading your letter to Emma brings back memories I wrote to my Dalmatian Dillon so many years ago. He too was a tough puppy to raise (my first of two, the second being a female Australian Cattledog). He was my baby and taught me so much. He has been gone 15 years, but I think of him everyday. Please know that I think of you and the girls everyday. God Bless.
Thank you. Emma was and easy dog in so many ways, but also a really difficult one because of her stubbornness. I remember all the furry ones I have lost, but Emma was truly special. She had a gift to make people happy.
Tears streaming down my face.. She will always be in your heart and by your side. We all will miss her.
In some ways it is like losing her twice, once as my little Ems, and a second time as Emma the blogging queen.
Joy, I have no words that could possibly comfort you. Just know that I am holding you in my heart, and sending light and love your way.
Thank you. I just have to work through it. Things will settle down, a new normal will slowly creep in, but Emma will always be in my heart and mind.
What a beautiful tribute to your Emma. We know how painful losing your precious furGirl is. Hugs to you♥
Thank you.
My mommy’s eyes are leaking. We loved Emma so very much. That was a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to Emma which I am sure was difficult through your tears. If I were there I would crawl in your lap, wrap my paws around your neck, and give you my very special Sparkle kisses. XOXO, Sparkle
Thank you, Sparkle. Madison has been chief tear licker, and Bailie offers lots of her special huggles. I’m so lucky to have them to help me through this terrible time.
Always part of your soul.
She will always be.
Emma is smiling from heaven as she reads your letter and says she will always be looking over your shoulder and be there if you want to talk.
I know she is there, but as you know, it is just not the same.
Joy, this is a beautiful tribute to your sweet Emma. My eyes, too, were leaky – remembering the days after Callie went to Heaven and feeling your pain as my own – but Emma’s spirit will always be with you. She will guide you, love you, and encourage you just as she did throughout her time on earth. We will all miss her, as she was part of our extended family too. Sending you, Bailie, and Madison big gentle hugs and tailwags.
Thank you. She has already shown us that she is with us, but right now, that only makes me cry more. It will be a long road, but I will get down it and find my way without Emma in my arms.
I understand your pain. Two years ago one of our Boston’s passed suddenly without warning. It is horrible but it does get better. You and your family our in my thoughts and prayers.
Sure wish there was a fast forward button because this is just almost too much. I know it will get better, but something tells me this will take a long time.
I am sorry to hear your sad news Joy. Even though this isn’t your first loss it certainly doesn’t make it any easier. Each one is special and has different meaning to you. I know you will continue to enjoy all the wonderful memories of Emma and each will warm your heart.
Thank you, Brenda. Dogs are with you like toddlers. They depend on you forever, never grow up and leave the nest. They are with me 24/7, so when they leave, it is so very hard to fill that spot. I know it will get better, but it will take a long time.
Oh, Joy. I honestly thought I’d finished with my ugly crying over Emma but alas, here come the tears and hard sobs. I don’t think the boys understand why I just lay on the floor hugging them and crying. If I could take an ounce of your pain for you, I would and gladly add it to my own. Stay strong because Emma would want you to carry on her legacy.
It’s a daily battle right now, but I have to take care of Bailie and Madison, and their happy personalities help me along with huggles and tear licking. It will be a long time before my tears stop, I fear.
Oh Joy, what pain you bravely share, and what a wonderful tribute to your girl! What a legacy to which her sisters will have to match. I love the photos and history.
Chablis will be 11 this week, and people comment on how young he looks and acts. Maybe it is the breed?
Emma will be forever a part of the AKC Museum of the Dog history because you so kindly let me use some of her photos to advertise Guest Dog each year.
Karen
She made such a name for herself in so many places. I’m very proud of all she accomplished just being her cute, silly, sweet self. Emma became a public figure, and we have all learned to live that way. It has become our normal over the years.
Such a beautiful tribute to Emma…everyone who shared her blog misses her too. ??
She was really loved by so many.
Dear Joy Thank you for giving Emma the opportunity to touch so many hearts, to crack smiles and Inspire when needed. My heart is still upset and crying, I hardly can imagine how it is for you, Bailie and Madison. But I know for sure that Emma will follow every step you guys make and will guide you. Love from another GBGV mom.
Thank you for enjoying the talent Emma had to make people happy. She was an amazing girl, and I miss her so much.
My heart is breaking for you. :'( Emma will live on forever, thanks to the wonderful adventures you have shared on social media. May your memories and your other beautiful dogs comfort you. ♥
It is such a tough time, I can’t believe this has really happened.
Aww. I ❤ Emma. I’m grateful i found your blog a couple of years ago. I think a bit of Emma lives on in Madison as they are related, so i hope that comforts you Joy ❤
Thank you. Madison is a lot like Emma. I know the three of us will get through this and carry on with Emma’s work in our own way.
Hugs….Sending lots and lots of hugs
Thank you.
I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. My heart hurts for you.
Thank you, I can’t believe it really is true.
Joy, your tribute is just so touching. I was sobbing while I read Emma’s this and can’t imagine the strength it took for you to write it. I looked forward to reading Emma’s blog. And love “Love, Emma” ending.
Hugs and prayers for you, Ballie and Madison.
Thank you. Writing and photography are a way of calming for me. It is hard to write and keep going, but I need to do that. Bailie and Madison are with me for support.
What a beautiful tribute to a very special life. You and Emma had such a wonderful relationship, and you gave her such a fulfilling life. Emma is gone too soon, but try to take comfort in the fact that she was able to live life to the fullest right up until the end. She didn’t suffer, even though we know how much you are suffering now. 🙁 ♥
I know she never meant to hurt me. We had so many plans but in a few hours everything changed. You know how hard it is to deal with the sadness of a loss.
this was so incredibly beautiful….everything….the words, the photos. Sooo beautiful. Joy you and Emma had a most incredible bond…..sooo deep……it is as if you were one. You still are, Emma will always be with you….hmmm…I think maybe you should write another book???????YES PLEASE!! xoxo
Emma and I were truly one. I don’t think a book is in the cards. Putting it together is not the issue, it is the marketing part. It’s just too hard. For now, Bailie, Madison, and I will try to find our new normal, and keep Emma’s work going. It makes us all happy, and Emma would want that.
Our hearts go out to you during this difficult time ?
Emma received the greatest gift, your love?
Be gentle with yourself?
?gentle nose nudges ?
Thank you. I’m the one who received the gift of spending the years with Emma. She taught me so much.
I so get your pain. The firsts have been really hard this year. I’ve cried more this year than any other. Those first walks through Lebanon Hills without Jasper were ready ones. The one thing I know to be true, our dog’s have had the most amazing lives. They may be gone too soon, but they lived he time they had to the fullest. Sending you love and hugs. I know it is hard.
She did have an amazing life, but it ended too soon. I walk and cry with her sisters, and have them to talk to about it all, but nothing can replace the one we lose. So sorry about Jasper. I still cry at Lebanon Hills about my dog who passed away 15 years ago as we walked there before I moved to Germany with her.
That was a very beautiful tribute! hugs.
Thank you. I’ve thought of you and your Norman often the past week.
?The tears are flowing as I read your letter. Emma was a real gem of a dog. I’m so sorry for your sudden loss and know she will be with you always. Hoping all the recollections of your time together provide you with comfort in her absence.
I’m very grateful for all the memories, stories, photos, and videos I have.
what a beautiful love letter. i loved looking at all of the pictures on the blog. it is so very hard. i still break down and cry, talk to my gal, telling her how much she meant to me, how i loved her, asking her if i was good to her, if she had a good life, etc. sometimes i think i was not good enough for her because she was so good. she did not like having 2 younger sisters either, but she tolerated them. she was an only child til she was 8. now Emma is with Katie, in heaven, both having earned their angel wings. Emma was a shining star.
My mom is having a lot of trouble keeping her eyes dry. Things are good and then all of the sudden she is a mess. She talks to Emma a lot right now. We all miss her, but Mom really can’t deal with it too well.
Hi Bailie and Madison, I just read this letter again, and again I’m touched. Despite I have never met Emma I still miss her. It must be really hard for you and your mom. Big hugs. Laetitia
My mom is really having a hard time with the loss, even three months later. She cries every day, talks to her, pets her photos, it is like no other loss she has experienced. We miss her, but not like Mom does. Thank you for your kind words.