Today it’s been two years since Emma left me, left us, left everyone, and I still miss her so much every single day. I decided to write the post today because the girls can’t possibly understand my feeling of loss. In my lifetime, I’ve lost goldfish, gerbils, rabbits, cats and dogs, but never has a loss gripped me like losing my Emma. I waited months for her to be born and to go to England to get her. She was my second puppy, the first one I ever planned for. Emma was special to me from day one.
The two of us shared so many things in life, and we had so many plans but on October 30, 2018, everything ended. For me it was something I had not even thought about happening. She was twelve, but at her senior physical two months prior, she was healthy as a horse. She adored doing nose work, walked an hour every morning, hunted rabbits in the yard, she was in good shape.
Emma and I went to a garden center one day after her nose work class just three weeks before she passed. We had fun taking some photos, and looking at Halloween decorations. When I took this photo, some of the people there stopped to remark about what a great model Emma was, and they could not believe her age as she seemed so young.
My GBGV Life is mainly thanks to Emma. She inspired me every day to use my love of pets, photography, and story telling. Without her, I would probably never have found a way to use my creativity. It is not always easy to keep the blog going without her, but I know she loved doing all the things a dog does for a blog and she would not want me to quit just because she is no longer here. It’s been two years, and I think Bailie, Madison, and Olivia are doing a pretty good job keeping the blog going. They all love the camera, but no one can model like Emma did.
Emma was my first dog sports dog, the first dog I trialed with, and the first dog I ever earned a title with. I was so excited and she was so proud when team red earned our first title, the L1V, Level 1 Vehicle Title in May 2015. Nose work was the only sport she did. She tried Barn Hunt, but didn’t like it at all. Animals in tubes seemed to freak her out!
Every time I drive to a nose work trial, I think about Emma. I talk to the dog or dogs that are in the car with me about Emma, and I cry. Our road trips are something the girls and I love, but I miss having Emma along as she loved to travel! She had seen so much for a pup – eighteen states and five countries. Searching with my three is always fun, but I miss searching with Emma. We knew each other so well. Our last trial was about six weeks before I lost her and we had so much fun. Emma earned her L2I, Level 2 Interior Title that day.
For me the hardest part is the suddenness of her death. I had no time to prepare myself for losing Emma. My other dogs I’ve lost have been ill, or older, and I knew the time was near. We had time to do a few last things together, but I had no time to do anything with Emma. I feel guilty for not being able to help her, for not doing more. The day went from leaving her at the vet, probably overnight, to getting a call that they could not save her and an hour later she was gone in my arms. I am thankful I was there with her when she took her last breath but I wish I had not left for three hours to let her rest. I feel so guilty about having followed the vet’s orders. Leaving her that night when she was gone was so very hard. She was always there for me and I had to leave her for good.
Everyone deals with losses of people and pets, but this one isn’t getting any easier for me. Writing this has taken me forever because I can’t see through my tears. I can’t look at photos or videos of her, or talk about her without tearing up. I try to tell myself she was just a dog, but she was so much more and I can’t get over her not being here. I love all my girls so much, but they can’t fill the void Emma left in my heart. She taught me so much about myself, how to find what I love in life and do it, how to be silly and not care what others think. It’s been two years already, but I feel like I just picked her up in England as a nine week old puppy.
Emma was one of a kind. A once in a lifetime hound. She was proper, silly, serious, lovable, difficult, an all around great hound. I’m blessed to have had her in my life for twelve years, but time was still far too short. Today I’ll hang out with Bailie, Madison, and Olivia, and we will celebrate Emma. Thank you for reading, and enjoying Emma, Bailie, Madison, Olivia and our life adventures.
Mom and I totally understand. Mom talks about Dash all the time and can’t believe he isn’t here. He was so special. We hope your day is full of good memories. your friend Lilly
Mom was thinking about you guys and Dash when she was writing. She remembers the shock she felt hearing that Dash had suddenly passed, and then it was Emma. She cherishes every moment with us so much more now because you never know when a person or pet you love so may be gone. Hugs to you all.
we agree with every word… and we often feel the same… and sometimes it even feels not right… but we hope once it feels right and it is ok for our heart to accept the things like they are… big hugs to you…
I’m sorry that you also know the pain of sudden loss. I love my three girls now and our life, but I still miss Emma every single day. She and I had a special bond.
We understand too and it’s so hard, it really is. Emma was a special gal and think about her every single week day when we visit your blog. We can’t visit and not see Emma in everything and that’s a wonderful legacy. Hugs.
We don’t ever want her to be forgotten on the blog as it was hers. She was the inspiration behind it all, but it is also hard to always have reminders of her around but no reminders would be even worse.
We all miss her. She was one special girl who loved you very much. She brought us all so much. She will always be watching over you and the girls. She will always be in your heart but she would be so happy to know she left you enough heart room to love the girls. Big hugs!
Each of my dogs has been so special and so loved but Emma and I went through a lot of things together that no one else went through with me. We had a deep bond, and having her just gone with no warning has been so hard. I know she is with me in spirit, but it is still very hard. I’m sure you miss your Katie a lot, even though you have a wonderful new furry one to love and be loved by.
We totally understand. They are gone but we never quite ever get over their loss. Emma was such a beautiful girl. Hugs to you♥
Thank you. Some losses are easier to handle than others.
Sparkle is not writing today, I am. My heart just breaks for you. We all loved Emma so very much and felt your unconditional love for her and her unconditional love for you! I just loved her in her apron and cap because she so reminded me of Julia Childs. Emma was your very special heart dog, and she knows how much you love and miss her. Sending virtual hugs. Love, Betsy
Thank you. We went through so many things together and had so many new experiences together in those 12 years. Having it gone in the blink of an eye without warning has just been devastating. I’m thankful I have my three wonderful girls to love and be loved by, but I can’t get over Emma being gone.
You have made my heart and soul sad along with your own, sometimes grief never does end. And yet that may not be a bad thing when the one for whom we grieve was beyond replacing. Thank you for sharing Emma’s story and life with us, signing off as I wipe away a tear.
Thank you. I love my current three girls and our life together, but I just miss Emma all the time. Some losses are harder than others.
Reading your words made me leaky-eyed as well. We miss Emma, too. Your girl was very special, and her nose work inspired me to start the basics with Shadow and Ducky. Losing our special pets is never easy, and we just don’t “get over it” or “let it go” because they weren’t human. So, celebrate Emma with the girls today – and every day – and let those tears flow when they come. We all understand and none of us will ever judge you for it. You have many happy memories of Emma’s time with you to look back on. I know it’s not the same as having her there with you; but she is always watching over you and your girls and cheering you onward. Sending you warm, virtual hugs and love.
Thank you. I do talk about her all the time. I have her photos around the house, and I look at them on the computer, but they usually make me cry. I’m lucky to have Bailie, Madison, and Olivia to love. They are all wonderful, but the one piece is missing and that breaks my heart. You know how hard it can be to lose a special furry one.
These are heart and soul dogs. She will always be part of you.
I miss Emma everyday as well, Joy. I still can not believe she is gone. I keep waiting for her put up a new post. I have lost several dogs unexpectedly, and it tears me up still to think of them. Emma was a one in a billion dog. I tear up as I type this because of your loss and mine. Your current girls are wonderful and funny and talented, and… they are not Emma. Know that Emma touched the whole world, what a gift she was and still is. What an ambassador for our breed!! Run free, Emma!
Thank you, Karen. We were so close, it is just still hard to believe she was suddenly gone. It’s very hard to come to grips with.
I get this. I miss our angel Little Bit.
Big healing hugs. Scritches to the pups. ♥
I bet you do. Some dogs are just embedded deeper in our hearts than others.
I send you so many hugs and heartfelt understanding….all are special but some pets just seem to ‘get us’ and are our heart pets.
Be kind to yourself about the guilt, I know that is hard to let go of.
Hugs to you all Cecilia
Thank you. All the what ifs won’t ever bring her back, but I still feel like I should have been able to do more for her. I just really miss her.
My heart hurts for you. I’ll be glad to go home form the office and hug my Alex. (also sending you hugs)
Thank you. Luckily, my office is at home, so I’ve always had my dear furs working with me.
Rarely can I say I know how someone feels…but I do know how you feel. I still see Dory out of the corner of my eye sometimes..and, even now, have tears in my eyes thinking of her last moments. Some things will never be the same, there are different joys now and other fun moments with our present pack….but the pain of losing that special pup, the one who was also a BFF never goes away.
Sending lots of hugs!
Beth
You know exactly what it is like. I love my girls so much, but I always feel like one is missing and I tear up all the time when I think of Emma.
Thinking of you on this anniversary and knowing the other girls will provide pawfuls of comfort.
Thank you. It was a tough day.
This was beautiful, Joy, and now I’m crying too. Emma was a very special dog, so talented and so unique. She would be proud that you’ve kept the blog going, and do so much with her sisters. Big hugs to you. ♥
Thank you. I just miss her so much all the time. The blog is something she and I started, and both loved. I still enjoy it, so we keep going.
I really can’t add anything – except to tell you to keep on talkinbg about Emma – and TO Emma. And thank you for sharing her and your current crew with all of us.
Thank you. I do always talk about her and I have her all around us here at home too.
My heart aches for you.
Thank you. It can be really tough some days still.